How to save a falling relationship

 Building a happy, healthy partnership takes work and may not always be easy, especially when there’s been a breach of trust. Issues are a part of life and a part of being in a relationship, and the goal is to not fixate on the past, but work to create together in a meaningful way. So, you do you go about that? Here are some tips to get you started, whether you’re dealing with the fallout from a betrayal or trying to keep a long-distance relationship going.

1. Work on yourselves as individuals first.

In order to save and strengthen a relationship, both partners need to do their own inner work. “It’s important for both individuals to work on themselves and connect with their core values and strengths,” Pawelski says. “Lead with curiosity by creating an open space where you can both be honest with one another. Only then can you work together as a couple to try to strengthen your relationship.”

2. Think about what the relationship needs

Identifying patterns of discord and what you both feel is lacking are great first steps to working on a failing relationship. Think about what you and your partner can do to better understand each other and meet in the middle—also, make sure you both are on the same page about wanting to make this work.

3. Make Time For Each Other.

Between working all the time, social obligations, and the fact that most of us are in serious relationships with our phones, we sometimes forget about what really matters: our partner.

it can be tough to make your partner a priority, but it doesn’t have to take a lot of time," says Chlipala. "Have dates where you focus on each other or show genuine interest in each other’s day and likes."

4. Admit that mistakes have been made.
This is probably the hardest yet the most important part of saving a relationship. Admitting that one or even both of you have failed to do your part is not easy. In moments like this one, people tend to become stubborn and quickly activate their defense mechanism in order to avoid getting all the blame. 

Avoid becoming defensive or sidestepping your mistake, but don’t fall into self-loathing either. “You should own it in a loving way that creates the space to start to rebuild trust,” 

 

5. Communicate. 
There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate. The right way is asking your partner a relevant question, listening to their response, then offering your opinion. The wrong way is overwhelming your partner with your irritations and worries as soon as they walk in from a particularly long workday. Practice effective speech by engaging your loved one in a conversation of their interest. Ask questions that matter to them; people open up when you inquire about their day, an important project, their feelings, etc. Once you've listened to what they have to say, offer your side of the story. Stay away from heavy conversations in stressful times, and especially in the heat of emotion. Calm down, then approach the topic again. Don't just sound off with your concerns; delve to the core of the matter by drawing your partner into the dialogue first

6. Be honest with yourself and your partner.

Relationships are made up of people who are growing and changing each day—whether that’s together or apart is sometimes hard to admit to.

If you feel like a lull in the relationship is the result of things left unsaid, be honest with yourself and ask the difficult questions. Answers to questions about the future or marriage aspirations can be relationship dealbreakers. It might be important to discuss these topics sooner rather than later.

7. Learn to Forgive and Trust Again.

If a couple is going to survive infidelity, the person who was cheated on will need to learn how to forgive, and the person who cheated will have to earn back the trust of his partner

8. Ask What You Can Do To Make Things Easier For Them

As much as you might not like the answer, ask your partner what you do that drives them nuts. We all have negative qualities, so it's nothing to feel bad about — it could be what improves your relationship

9. Respect your differences.
In relation to the section above, you have to respect your differences because you are two different people. No matter how perfectly matched you are in the zodiac sign department or if you think you’re soulmates, there will always be differences because you both have gone through a lot of things as well and experiences that shaped each of you as a person.

10. Rekindle the flame.

Sometimes we get into a relationship and we forget that our partner needs to be appreciated,” Golembiewski told the Daily Dot. “If you can show appreciation, attention, and affection, those are three big ways to rekindle a relationship.

Go to a show! Get a couples massage! Have sex! There are so many ways couples can show affection through little gestures like cooking dinner one night or sending them a gooey pizookie. Light the match and keep the flame burning—you’ll be glad you did.